CHILD MARRIAGE BY ABISOLA ADEOYE

 

          "I was just 14 years old when my father called me into our sitting room for 'a tete-a-tete', he called it. You see, my father was a very strict man; I feared him a lot growing up. He said I should go pack my bags and get ready to go to Mallam Danladi's house the next day. Apparently, I was to be married to him and my bride price had already been paid..."

This and many more are stories you hear from young girls these days who have been thrown into marriages at the early stages of their lives. Child marriage is the union of a young girl to an older man (in most cases, a man old enough to be her father). Young girls who are thrust into this system are denied education and independence; instead, motherhood welcomes them with open arms and radiant smiles.

These girls are then subjected to so many derogatory things because they are unprepared for marriage. Some go through domestic violence, from the husband and even the wives the old man would have had which could result in so many health challenges because the abusers know the girls are not able to fight for themselves. Cases of marital rapes have also been heard all in the name of the husbands demanding for their rights in the bedroom. They are kids after all and who are in the best position to be cheated if not kids. Moreover, if they are questioned, they have a perfect and readymade answer - "I paid her brideprice so I own her".

        Another thing is these men expect these girls to start procreating with immediate effect; then you start wondering if they actually need wives or breeding mares. Motherhood? Just like that? Is it that easy and simple? Soon you start hearing tales like: "I do not know what happened to him, Doctor, he just started having seizures or he just started crying and his temperature became so high...". These girls are not physically, emotionally and psychologically matured enough to have babies. They need nurturing and not the other way around. When they eventually get pregnant, in most cases, it results in a low survival rate for the mother and child and in few cases when both or only the mother survives, it can lead to post-partum depression due to the rigorous pain of labour.

        When a young girl is trapped into an early marriage, she gets separated from her family and friends. She is then expected to play home and become mature all of a sudden when she is supposed to be playing like the child she is. This strips them of their identity, disempowers and makes them dependent on others all through their lives, thereby making them shadows of themselves.

Sometimes, it seems the society has forgotten that these kids are girls, not brides. Child marriage takes place as a result of poverty, illiteracy, traditional cultures, religious customs and the generally perceived notion that a woman's place is in a man's kitchen regardless of whatever degree she holds which all boils down to gender inequality. Now, I am not saying we do not have boy marriages but they are so few they may as well not exist. Child marriage does no good, it disregards the rights of children and turns them to empty shells battling with depression and all other life-threatening challenges.