BROKEN

"I miss you," he whispered, "the way you look at me, the way you
talk to me and especially the way you smile at me."
"Really? You really do miss me? why? You know you can't miss me, you
that sent me away or don't you remember? Should I remind you of that
night? The night you discarded me as if I worth less than a ragged
doll, "I whispered back.

"I'm sorry, you don't know how sorry I am. I am so sorry. I didn't
know what I was doing" he begged profusely. "Sorry?" can sorry give me
back the years I wasted on you? Will it give me back the things,
people and friends I lost all for you? Tell me! can sorry erase
everything" I retorted.
I was so furious. I had never been angrier all my life. How could he
appear out of the blues after these years and think I would be
pacified by simply saying sorry.

"you are telling me you ain't gonna forgive me? c'mon I know
you still love me; you couldn't live without me once remember?" he
caught into my thoughts.
"What! What are you? Who are you to think you can manipulate love and
what makes you think I wouldn't stop loving you after abandoning me.
who the heck do you think you are!" I screamed bursting into tears.
He made a move to pacify me and I shouted at him "let me be!"
I felt ashamed of myself after for appearing vulnerable in his
presence again. Three years back before he left, I went down on my
knees pleading with him. I recall I wept, I made promises I couldn't
keep just to keep him a little longer. I promised to stop behaving in
a way I didn't even know of all to keep my man. I held on to his legs
and he kicked me. his mom pleaded on my behalf but to all he turned a
deaf ear.

The only person urging him on was his friend, the same person that
turned my life around. He who sowed sadness into my blossoming barn.
He lied against me. Sure he had been declaring his affections for
sometime but I never consented. When I threatened to report him to his
friend; my love, he went ahead and told his friend that I seduced and
slept with him.

Unfortunately, my love didn't think to find out the true state
of things. He got angry, sending me away like we shared nothing,
nothing at all.
It's been three years, three years and now he's here pleading to be
accepted and forgiven. Does he really expect me to forget all I'eve
been through and embrace him? He sure better not have thought so.
"Jade" he called me out of my reverie. So you still remember my name,
Josh?" I replied. "I can never forget you, please give me a chance to
show you how much I love you once again. "A second chance, that's all
I ask " he pleaded with tears in his eyes.

"maybe I will; maybe I won't, I don't know yet. Let's wait and see
because what you are asking for is high and difficult to give." I
whispered and left without a backward glance.

"There are some things we can't have no matter how much we wish for
them" I thought within me.


BY
DERBY